The Undertaking by Frederic Colier
The
Character: Lucia, prostitute, thirty.
Sombra, unemployed, thirty. Her cousin.
A dilapidated messy room, a mattress on the floor, a fridge, a table with two chairs. The front door is in the back. On the left, an open French window gives onto a roof terrace. The wind billows through the curtains.
We hear someone running up the stairs. Lucia walks into the room panting and terrified, carrying a shoes in one hand and a small plastic bag in the other. She double-locks the door immediately and wedges a chair under the handle. Tears well up in her eyes. She fights them off. She wears a black beret, and a black purse hangs on her shoulder. She throws the bag and the purse on the table, opens the plastic bag, takes a can of cat food out, and opens it. She looks for her cat around the room. She pokes her head out of the window.
Lucia
Tilly. Tilly. Come here pussy. Mommy’s brought you food.
She can’t find the cat. She slumps in the chair and rubs her belly. Again tears stream down her face. She wipes them off. She looks around her, then opens her purse and counts a bundle of money.
SOMBRA appears through the French window. He notices her and remains hidden behind the frame. He watches her counting the bills one by one. She senses his presence and shoves the money back in her purse. She turns around.
SOMBRA walks into the room.
Lucia
You scared me.
Sombra
I was going to scare you.
Lucia
Please don’t. Not tonight.
Sombra
(He sees the chair leaning against the door.)
Are we expecting someone?
Lucia
I’m terrified. This guy’s been following me.
Sombra
You always get scared at night.
Lucia
I saw him kill a man, a sailor. He followed me. He gave me the creep. I can feel him running over my skin.
Sombra
Well, I’m here now. You’ve got nothing to fear.
Lucia
I was by Ricardo Wharf.
Sombra
A tough place to go alone. You’ve got guts cousin of mine. But I take it, you’ve been busy.
Lucia
These two guys were bickering, and then they started to scream.
Sombra
About what?
Lucia
I don’t know they were foreign.
Sombra
Maybe they were bickering about you. Maybe they didn’t have enough money to both have you and couldn’t decide who was going to have you.
Lucia
They could not see me. But I saw them punching and kicking each other. And then the short one strangled the other one. I walked away and he heard me. He called me but I kept walking away as fast as I could, and he started to chase me. I ran and ran and ran until I was down the street. I turned round and I could see him all the way down the square looking for me.
Sombra
Ma mi.
Lucia
Then I see lights on at the Anchor. I walked in and who do I see: Crazy Kev and Mario. I tell them that this guy’s chasing me. They run outside, look around and found no one. Gone. He had disappeared like the fog.
Sombra
Maybe he was the ghost of the dead guy?
Lucia
It’s not funny. Then they come back in and start making all sort of crude jokes. “Was he as pale as a condom? And so on. I stormed out of there in a wink. Mario wanted to dance with me.
Sombra
They’re pussycats: you bark at them they start purring . . . They’ve got nothing else to do the whole day but to bug the hell out of people.
Lucia
Say you. Something about the way they look at me was funny. As if they knew something about me scared me even more. They reek of trouble this lot. I only saw those two but you won’t have to go too far to find the others. Like gulls on a dead fish. They laughed like gulls too. Like hyenas. . . . Hold me tight. I’m scared. Promise you’ll protect me if they harass me.
(He hugs her.)
Sombra
These guys? With me around they wouldn’t dare to touch you.
Lucia
You don’t think he could find me, do you?
Sombra
Get real. If I’d kill a guy I’d disappear for a while. He won’t have the time to look for you. He’s probably crossed the border for all we know.
Lucia
I’m feeling strange tonight. The world feels bigger . . . I feel safe in here knowing you’re around. I’ll sleep better.
(He walks behind her and grabs her shoulders, and massages them. She turns around to look at him.)
Lucia
How come you’re not asleep? You never come out of your coma before ten or eleven.
Sombra
Not a drop . . . I spent the night with some friends.
Lucia
Which one?
Sombra
Just some friends.
Lucia
But who?
Sombra
Hey, I thought you’d be happy I haven’t had a drop.
Lucia
Let’s see how long it’s going to last.
Sombra
I’m just being nice.
Lucia
(Lucia tries to free herself.)
It’s unlike you to be so nice. I don’t trust you. Have you been up to something again?
Sombra
What’s the matter? You don’t like being rubbed. You never complained before. Do you want me to stop?
Lucia
No don’t. Feels good. I’m feeling sick.
Sombra
Because of him, isn’t it? That’s why you were by Ricardo Wharf. So did he come back? . . . I didn’t think he would.
(She gives him a quelling glare.)
With the ferries gone, why should he come back?
Lucia
You never liked him.
Sombra
That’s not true. I loved him. I always love Dutchmen. They’re good guys. We need more of them. I don’t know why they had to close the ferry line. That’s not good for the town. It’s no good for anyone. Not good for me . . . and certainly not good for you. Where on earth are you supposed to meet new johns? We need them tourists here. Guys like him . . . What was his name again? Van Der Mer? Van ver . . .
Lucia
Helmut van Dekerkof.
Sombra
Let him go. They’ll be others.
Lucia
(She gets up. He stops rubbing her.)
Where is Tilly? You let her out again.
Sombra
She snuck out while I was taking a breather on the terrace. I saw her tail loping through the tiles. Nothing I could do.
Lucia
She’s gone through the roof?
Sombra
She’ll be back. It’s not the first time.
Lucia
I don’t want the baker’s cat to get hold of her again. She came back covered with scratches last time, and you know what.
Sombra
If it’s not the baker’s cat, it’ll be the Arab’s. There’s nothing we can do. She’s a naughty little tart.
Lucia
Then next time you drown the kittens. You do it. Once’s enough for me.
Sombra
We’re in a mood tonight. Is it that time of the month? Or do you want me to leave you alone?
Lucia
No please. Don’t let her run outside, that’s all I’m asking.
Sombra
She’ll be back soon. As soon as her little belly cries for food. She’s a princess. She wouldn’t know what to do with a mouse if she found one smacking her in the face. She’ll be back to her castle. Are we done with the . . .
(He puts his hand out as if to claw her face and makes the sound of a cat screeching. She removes her beret and throws it on the bed. He runs to remove it from the bed.)
Don’t put your hat on the bed. I’ve told you before, it’s bad luck.
(He crosses himself and mumbles a prayer to undo the curse.)
Lucia
Hats on beds, howling dogs and you’re supposed to protect me tonight.
Sombra
These things are for real. Shit does happen if you do them.
Lucia
(She puts some thick pink wool socks on.)
Sarita told me they found Mozart. He washed up on the beach near the Blackpoint Cliff. Crabs had already eaten half his face. Or so they think . . . Old Bradley promised me he’d bury him next to Uncle Billy.
Sombra
Hm.
Lucia
I loved Mozart. Smart dog he was. How many times have you met a dog who wags his tail when he hears music? Always responding when you called him . . . It’d break my heart to find my kitty cat dead. I shiver at the thought it could happen to my Tilly . . . Imagine if you’ve got a kid. You never sleep again. Too scared things may happen.
(She crosses herself and mumbles a three-word prayer.)
Sombra
She’s around somewhere. She’ll be back.
(He goes to the terrace to check.)
Lucia
Think about it, how could he get lost? Everyone knew him in town. Must have fallen off the cliff. I saw him wandering over there a few times.
Sombra
Looking for a good time with the local strays the dirty runt.
Lucia
Unless some bastard pushed him off? I don’t ever want to see Tilly out again. The world is too dangerous for her little paws.
Sombra
You worry about the damn dog. What about Uncle Billy catching pneumonia in the middle of the summer while hunting high and low for him?
(Pause.)
She’s going to be back anytime. She’s had nothing to eat since yesterday.
Lucia
What about last night?
Sombra
I went out early . . . Forgot. I came back tired and the room stunk. So I opened the window to put her poop box on the terrace and she crept out. Waited for me to turn my back, the little bitch.
Lucia
Is there anything I can trust you with?
Sombra
But I’ve had a great night. I’m about to make a big chunk of change. I’ve got this offer.
(He walks towards her, with a large smile on his face. She avoids him.)
What? . . . I don’t think so.
Sombra
This is mighty important. I can make $2000 back.
Lucia
I have no money.
Sombra
I know you’ve got some cash stashed somewhere in here. Please.
Lucia
I’m broke.
Sombra
I only need $750.00 to invest.
Lucia
Leave me alone. I’d like to watch my soap now.
(She turns on the old TV set, cranks the preset station knob. The TV fails to work. She bangs on it.)
Sombra
It takes you no time to get the cash. You get it quick. It’s not the same for me. You’ve worked most of the night . . . come on.
Lucia
(She sponges her forehead.)
This is broken damn it! . . .
Sombra
Let me try.
(He fiddles with the TV set.)
Lucia
I didn’t work last night. I wasn’t feeling well. Spent the whole night on the docks, hoping he’d come back.
Sombra
Call him. Ask him to move in town.
Lucia
I might do that . . . I need some rest . . . I’m making big changes in my life. Just so that you know—I’m off the game.
(He stops working on the TV.)
SCENE 2
Sombra
Love that moody virgin shit.
Lucia
It’s scary to say that but I’m through with this life.
Sombra
For real
Lucia
Yeah for real.
Sombra
Just like that?
Lucia
. . . yes, just like that.
Sombra
That’s a big problem then. Cos’ I need money.
Lucia
Sorry. Can’t help you. I’m off, I’m off.
Sombra
Give me a break. You’ve never been able to do anything but spread your legs. Come on, I only need $750.00.
Lucia
I’m not doing it anymore. I know in the past I’ve helped you. I’ve made my mind up.
Sombra
So you can’t let me down just like that. You can’t get me used to being helped and then stop when you decide without consulting me first.
Lucia
Sorry.
Sombra
You’re bullshitting me. What $ 700 bucks?
Lucia
(She tries the TV knob again.)
I spent it all already on the rent. I’m broke . . . Damn TV won’t work. I’m going to miss my show . . .
(He goes to the fridge and grabs two beers. He offers one to her.)
I don’t feel well. I’d better lie down.
Sombra
He’s really messed you up, Dutchman guy.
Lucia
I’ve been up for so long. I need to sleep.
Sombra
There’s no time to rest.
Lucia
(She sits on the mattress and looks around for something.)
Have you seen my sleeping pills?
Sombra
You can’t treat me this way. I’m your favorite cousin. How long we’ve been living together? Close to two years. I know you’ve been good to me in the past, but I’ve kept you company. Without me you couldn’t sleep at night . . . I make a deal with you. You lend me the money and tomorrow I’ll buy you a brand new TV.
Lucia
Have you seen them? I’ve got a headache.
Sombra
No I haven’t . . . I’ll get you a color one, with a remote control. What do you say? Imagine watching your soaps in color.
Lucia
I’m sure I left them by my pillow.
Sombra
You get to choose the model.
Lucia
I know where I can get a free one.
Sombra
What about this pink leather mini skirt? The one you like at that store downtown . . . I’ll buy it for you. You’d look beautiful. Men love women in mini skirts. You’d cause a riot on the streets. Men would line up just to fuck you. You won’t even need to take it off. You’ll make three times as much per night. Jesus, Sarita would turn green with envy.
Lucia
I can’t wear a mini with my legs.
Sombra
You’ve got beautiful legs.
Lucia
Don’t lie to me. They’re too fat.
Sombra
I’m adding a nice pair of boots to hide your ugly toes.
Lucia
See, I knew you were up to something right away. I get suspicious when you get too nice.
Sombra
Damn, I can see Sarita’s face from here. Fuming, when she gets she’s no longer the queen of Ricardo Wharf. We’re going to make you the queen of this town. You’re going to be such a beauty, no one’s going to resist you.
Lucia
Do you mean that?
Sombra
Swear my word my reputation and my mother.
Lucia
Your reputation is in trouble.
(She laughs.)
Sarita laughs about you. Your penis is so small she says. She can barely feel you.
Sombra
Sarita talks too much. Okay you laugh. She’s just spreading rumors to give me a bad wrap. That’s okay . . . I’m feeling generous. So what do you say?
Lucia
Leave me alone. I have no money. You only need money for your booze. How much do you owe at the Anchor? $150? $200? You’re smart, asking me for $750 and knowing I’d settle for less, maybe $200. That’s why you came back early last night. You were too broke to go out boozing . . .
Sombra
I hate when you talk to me this way. This is serious investment.
Lucia
What sort of investment?
Sombra
I can’t tell. Straight legitimate business.
Lucia
Involving Big Leon?
Sombra
Does it matter who with? I need the money. That’s all that matters.
Lucia
So do I.
Sombra
No you don’t.
Lucia
I need the money for the burial.
Sombra
Uncle Billy’s funeral? You hate his guts.
Lucia
For Mozart. I’m going to give this dog what he deserves. A nice grave.
Sombra
Oh my! My cousin’s gone bonkers. Paying for a dog’s funeral . . . What are you thinking about? Did Dutchman guy put this crazy shit in your head? I won’t let you waste your money on a dog, when I need it. Are we clear? Now give me the dough or I take it myself.
Lucia
If you loved animals like I do you’d understand.
Sombra
You’re going to pay for his dog’s grave. After all Uncle Billy’s done to you?
Lucia
He’s done nothing to me.
Sombra
You dirty little slut. I used to watch you going to his house. Bending you over the TV chair. Getting down on your knees.
Lucia
That’s not true . . . He . . . nothing happened.
Sombra
You seemed to enjoy yourself very much.
Lucia
I’d never . . . he forced me.
Sombra
What about his friends coming to visit him. Banging you one after the other . . . You never complained.
Lucia
They—
Sombra
Does Helmut the Dutchman know what you’re up to behind his back? It would be very unfortunate for him to find out.
Lucia
You’re my cousin.
Sombra
I bet his little heart would break to smithereens. If he hasn’t already forgotten you completely.
Lucia
He loves me.
Sombra
It would take two minutes to run down to the ferry office and find out his address. We could call him. I bet it’d be a while before we’d see his face again.
Lucia
You wouldn’t do that . . . He won’t believe you.
Sombra
That’s all you know how to do. Whore you’ve been and whore you are—forever.
(Pause)
So?
(They stare at each other. He grabs his belongings and throws them on the bed.)
Lucia
What are you doing?
Sombra
I’m a nice guy.
Lucia
What are you doing?
Sombra
You leave me no choice.
Lucia
Please don’t do that.
Sombra
I respect your wishes. You don’t want to, you don’t want to. There’s nothing I can do.
Lucia
You promised not to leave me alone
Sombra
I’m out of here.
Lucia
Not tonight. Not after Helmut. Now you. I can’t take it.
(She picks up the stuff he throws on the bed.)
Sombra
Hey, you can’t help me I can’t help you.
Lucia
Don’t go!
Sombra
I’ve got less than an hour to bring the money to Big Leon, after that I’m losing the deal. We don’t want to upset him. We don’t want to upset me, so give me the fucking money.
(He snatches her purse.)
I don’t understand why you always force me to behave this way. You know it leads us nowhere.
(He goes through the purse and finds the money.)
$120! Where is the rest? . . . What have you done with it?
Lucia
You’re a shame to your parents.
Sombra
Really? Well . . . You know how mad Big Leon gets when he gets mad. You’ve got a cute ass. Do you want to be punished by him? His gang’s getting pretty big. Crazy Kev, Mario, Boris—. You saw them waiting down the street. They might come here one after the other. . . I know Uncle Billy’s dead and the little favors are over. You know what I’m driving at, right? You’ve already shamed your father to death.
Lucia
He died at sea.
Sombra
Everyone knows your filth killed him. He jumped overboard.
Lucia
It was an accident.
Sombra
Give me your money.
(He comes near her with his fists raised.)
Lucia
I don’t have any cash, but I know where you can find some. I’ll tell you where . . .
Sombra
You’re a sweet girl, you know. Why do you push me like this when you know you’re going to bow down?
Lucia
I’ll tell you where on one condition.
Sombra
So which is it going to be? The pink skirt or the boots?
Lucia
There’s no reason for us to remain in this place. Look at where we live. The filth . . . Look, the water is rusty half the time. The heat doesn’t work. We freeze our butts every winter. Now that Uncle Billy’s dead. I want us to move into his house.
Sombra
Don’t be stupid.
Lucia
It’s a solid house. The garden’s got high walls. The cat can be left out. She won’t run away she has no claws. And the rent’s paid until the end of the summer. We can have our own place, for free until then. By the time the owner expels us, we can stay there another six months rent free.
Sombra
We can’t move out just like that.
Lucia
It’s a nice house. He’d just bought a brand new mattress for the spare bedroom. He’s got a nice color TV too. You can pawn them for cash at Habib’s. Today.
Sombra
That’s disgusting. The man just died. To do this to a dead person. Don’t you have a heart?
Lucia
We could even take the lease over. Look at the dump we live in. don’t you get tired of living without comfort?
Sombra
No one’s going anywhere. I don’t want to move out. I can’t do that.
Lucia
What do you care? A TV is only a fucking TV. Habib may give you $200 for it. The mattress even more. Maybe $300. That’s $500 cash in hand right there, in the next hour.
Sombra
That’s stealing from a dead man.
Lucia
We’ll be so much happier there. We could have our own room. No more sharing a bed.
Sombra
Over my dead body we’re moving there.
Lucia
The place’s empty . . . He was your uncle too.
Sombra
I can’t move there because of the dog. The neighbor’s black lab. Always howling. Howling death. He’s a jinx. I get scared, thinking he’s next door. He howled the whole night Uncle Billy died. The bastard knew. Should have been poisoned ages ago. I don’t want to hear I’m next in line.
Lucia
You’d rather stay in here, with no furniture, no kitchen, and sharing the bed with me . . .
Sombra
I promise I’ll buy the cat food. I promise to never let her out again, okay?
Lucia
You’ll like it there, it’s a nice house.
Sombra
You should be ashamed. Grandpa’s probably crying in his grave hearing you talking about your uncle this way.
Lucia
It makes no sense you won’t move to his house. There’s tons of cash waiting to be made. Cash you need.
Sombra
I won’t take Uncle Billy’s house.
Lucia
I’ll give you a hand to carry the stuff to Habib. The girl friend of Sarita’s brother has a car.
Sombra
You don’t do that to someone who’s just died, you slut . . . You go alone.
Lucia
I can’t move into this big house alone . . . it’s too big. I tell you what. What if I take the stuff to Habib’s shop and give you the cash, would you move in with me?
Sombra
I won’t let you do that. It’s a bad omen to steal from the dead.
Lucia
Well, then we’re in shit trouble. You need cash, I don’t have any and no way of getting more.
(Pause. Then Sombra takes her hand, seats her down and then sits next to her.)
Scene 3
Sombra
I owe money.
Lucia
I knew you were lying. A big cash advance my ass . . . Since when do you need a large cash advance. So what is it now? You got caught stealing something? From Habib again, and he’s threatening to turn you in?
Sombra
Big Leon.
Lucia
The last person on earth I’d mess with.
Sombra
I owe him the money: $750!
Lucia
How come? . . . Huh? Doing what?
Sombra
(He kneels down in front of her. He looks panicked.)
Cards.
Lucia
You play cards.
Sombra
I learned last night
Lucia
Moron.
Sombra
They let me in. They taught me. First we played with tokens. Plastic tokens . . . I was doing great. And then they switched to real money.
Lucia
Geez, you’re stupid.
Sombra
I told them I had no money. They told me not to worry, that they’d lend me some. Gave me a mattress, they call it.
Lucia
And I should pay your debts off.
Sombra
You don’t understand—
Lucia
I’m not paying your debt. Tell them to clean Uncle billy’s house then.
Sombra
If I don’t give them the money—
Lucia
You’re on your own.
Sombra
No. Please, please, listen. You need to bail me out.
Lucia
Give them Uncle Billy’s stuff then. You’ve got my cash plus the load from Habib’s pawn shop . . . $600 bucks. If Big Leon’s got a bit of decency in him, he’ll give you time to come up with the rest.
Sombra
There’s no time.
(He looks at his watch in panic.)
I’ve only got thirty minutes left.
Lucia
Hurry then. Run to Habib and you’ll be back on time.
Sombra
Big Leon’s men are already waiting downstairs for me. You saw them. If they see me going out, they’re going to think I’m running away. . . they’ll bruise me. You know that. I know you’ve got some dough somewhere.
Lucia
You took all I have.
Sombra
They’re going to cut my fingers off damn it! . . . like they did to the Brit. I’m begging you for family’s sake. You don’t want to be responsible for my lost fingers. Think who’s going to have to take care of me. Button my pants up. Tie my shoes. Wipe my ass. Come on. Time’s running out. I’m supposed to go down there in just . . .
(He looks at his watch again.)
Anytime now.
(Pause.)
Lucia
If I give you the money will we move out?
Sombra
I knew you had it.
Lucia
Will we move out?
Sombra
Anything you want. I’ll do anything to save my fingers.
Lucia
It’s hard to know when you’re actually telling the truth. You’re a born liar.
Sombra
Look at me. I’m near tears. I can already feel the blade cutting through my skin. Ugh!!!
Lucia
Will we move into Uncle Billy’s house?
Sombra
Please don’t do that to me.
Lucia
Fine.
Sombra
Okay. Deal. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Make me live next to that damn dog.
Lucia
Repeat after me. If I lie, make the neighbor’s dog howl death for me.
Sombra
I can’t say that.
Lucia
Repeat after me.
Sombra
(He mumbles the following.)
If I lie, make the neighbor’s dog howl death for me.
Lucia
See how easy it is to get money . . . $750.00? . . . Turn around and close your eyes.
(She walks to the fridge, pulls one side off the wall, and grabs a small wooden cigar box from the back.)
Sombra
You know I tried to defend you with Uncle Billy. I told him it was disgusting. He had no right to do this to his brother’s daughter. Do you know what he did to me? He smacked me across the face and told me he’d kill me if I ever mentioned it again. We should have told the police.
Lucia
The bastard’s dead now . . . Don’t turn around yet.
(She sits on a chair facing him.)
Let’s pack your stuff.
Sombra
Can’t we stay until tomorrow at least?
Lucia
Pack your stuff or no money.
Sombra
Give me the money first.
Lucia
I’m in charge.
Sombra
Okay. I’m packing.
(He gathers his belongings.)
Lucia
(She opens the box and notices that the box is empty.)
You scumbag! You took all my money. That was two years saving.
Sombra
Sorry, I needed it for gambling. They made me do it. To pay for my mattress.
Lucia
That was for Mozart’s funeral. I had three grants in there.
Sombra
Fucking dog doesn’t need a funeral.
Lucia
Two years of saving that was. Five grants. I’ve got nothing left. I’m so . . . Sorry for your fingers.
Sombra
Then the question is where we’re going to find some cash.
Lucia
I should have known better. Big Leon doesn’t make loans. Of course you gambled with my cash . . .
Sombra
You know how to find it and you’re going to help me.
Lucia
Over my dead body.
Sombra
A virtuous whore. I’m going to cry. Come on with all those favors you did for Uncle Billy, a little bit more, what do you care? Why not for me? . . . Please, don’t look at me this way. Not with me. We’re broke. You have no cash, I have no cash. And both of us know a way we can get it, quickly and easily.
Lucia
All this time you knew. Winding me up.
Sombra
Serious business takes some preparation.
Scene 4
Lucia
If your mother could hear you talk this way, to your cousin, she’d pray the dog’s neighbor to howl for you right now.
Sombra
You’re such a bitch and I love you so much.
Lucia
I won’t do it. You’ve already got your money. Go and pay them now.
Sombra
You know you always end up doing what I want. You’ll help me out.
Lucia
No more filth inside of me. I’ll tell Sarita what you do behind her back with other women. She’ll never touch you again.
Sombra
(He grabs her by the hair.)
Of course she will she’s a whore . . . You look like a mess. Go and get ready. Freshen up yourself. Look pretty and smile. Bring honor to the family. These men deserve the best.
Big Leon and his men should be here in fifteen minutes. The whole gang. Crazy Kev . . . you now how hungry he gets. Boris, Mario . . . Even the Brit with his stubby hands’s coming.
Lucia
No one’s going to touch me.
Sombra
Say you. You’re going to be nice and understanding to your cousin. He needs your help. They know that. I promised them you’d be a good girl. We don’t want to cause more problems than we already have, do we Lucia?
Lucia
You’re bluffing again. Lying through your teeth. You want some cash. There’s none left in this house. You’re lost.
Sombra
Big Leon’s an understanding man. Three days, that’s all I owe him. Then I’m off the hook.
Lucia
You put Uncle Billy to shame . . . You’re my cousin you can’t do that to me. I’ll slash my face, slit my throat if I have to.
Sombra
Why are you being so nasty?
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